I figured I had enough on my plate already and I didn't need the fuss or the worry. I should just be happy with what I already have and stop looking for more.
But you know slowly the feelings crept in until now I feel like a schoolgirl again.
My stomach has butterflies and I don't feel the need to eat. I have a stupid half grin on my face all the time. The kids have noticed and keep rolling their eyes at me.
But I can't help thinking what if it all goes wrong? Will I lose my confidence, what about my faith in myself?
It's just that there is so much potential...........I'll try to take it slow and not set my standards too high, keep my expectations reasonable but at the same time I want so much.
Secretly I am petrified but I know you guys won't judge me, won't snicker behind my back about the age difference or the slightly dishevelled appearance, or even the fact that that there were others before me. Ok so other times I have felt this way it didn't work out...yes I have made bad choices and yes I have suffered severe blows to the self esteem but this time will be different won't it, with this new love.........surely.
Wish us luck !!!!!!